Gujarati Club News: [Gujarati Club] My Mother BY***aSh*** Yeah Don't MisS

aSh

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
aSh

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
aSh
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
aSh

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, ! that's why."
aSh

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
aSh

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
aSh

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
aSh
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
aSh
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
aSh

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
aSh

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
aSh
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
aSh
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
aSh

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
aSh

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
aSh

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
aSh
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
aSh
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
aSh

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
aSh
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
aSh

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
aSh

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
aSh

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
aSh

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"...aSh...

aSh

Yes always Listened to My Mother an took Her Advice

.. has Worked Wonders ...aSh...

aSh

xmanresha9@yahoo.com