| Both George Bush and his secretary of state Condoleezza Rice have commented that the world food shortage is because Indians are eating better! I decided to pay a visit to the White House and interview the President on this rather touchy matter: George Bush was sitting on the lawns eating his third ham burgher which his security men had just brought over from the local Mac Donalds. "Sir, you have accused us Indians of eating too much?" I asked. "What did you have for breakfast?" mumbled President Bush as he bit into his juicy burgher. "Puri Bhajji!" I said unhesitatingly. "How many puris?" "Two sir!" "Two!" roared the American president causing both his security men to jump up, "You dared eat two puris? Because of your second puri I was told that Mac Donalds have run out of ham burghers. I have always eaten four ham burghers! Do you realize your over eating is causing us poor Americans malnutrition and undernourishment? "Sir I am sorry my second puri caused such....." "You are sorry? You are sorry?" roared the incensed President, "all these years you Indians ate one puri, one spoon of rice and one meal a day! Now you have decided to starve us Americans?" "I assure you sir we have no such desire!" I whispered. "I have lost half a kg in the last three months because I am not able to eat my fourth ham burgher, my sixth Kentucky chicken and my tenth slice of pizza!" "I did not know it was so bad sir!" "Look at poor Condoleezza! "Yes sir I am looking!" "America has never had an undernourished Secretary of State, ever! How can I send her to solve the Iraq crisis, to sort out the Iran problem, bring peace to Israel if she looks like an underfed puppy?" "How much weight has she lost sir because of our over eating sir?" "She ordered her third chocolate sundae last evening in her hotel room and do you know what the waiter told her?" "No sir, Mr President!" "He said we have run out of ice cream! Run out of ice cream, my poor secretary of state starving because you dare eat two puris! Guards!" "What are you going to do sir?" "Put you in jail!" "But for what crime sir?" "For starving the American people! And do you know something?" "No sir, Mr President!" "When I needed oil I raided Iraq! Now that you people have started eating our food I have no other option than attack your country and grab your extra puris! Never will the Americans starve! Never! Not as long as I George. W. Bush am President of the United States..!" |
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