Gujarati Club News: [Gujarati Club] Letter to the Canadian Passport Office

Super letter, whether its for real or not

Subject: : Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office.

Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v.cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports

I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name
is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if
that ever changed between now and when I die !!!!!!

STUPID!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my damn' address. What is going on? You have
a gang of Neanderthals Jackass's workin' there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up
Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a
sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another copy of my birth certificate, to prove I was born at the tune of $60 for you !!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the damn place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture -

you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!

(damn morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate disgusted Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
when one of my fore fathers took up arms against the
Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and
have had security clearances up the ying-yang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten
years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,