[Gujarati Club] Coffee time Fun BY***aSh***

Relationships  One day, a man came home and was    greeted by his wife dressed in a very    sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred,    'and you can do anything you want.'  So he tied her up and went golfing..  **************************************************  A woman came home, screeching   her car into the driveway, and ran into   the house. She slammed the door   and shouted at the top of her lungs,   'Honey, pack your bags. I won the   lottery!'  The husband said, 'Oh my God!   What should I pack, beach stuff or   mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she   said. 'Just get out.'  **************************************************  Marriage is a relationship in which   one person is always right, and the other is a husband.  **************************************************  A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.  First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:  'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'  'Can you read this?' the optician asked.  'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'  **************************************************  **************************************************  A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband..  Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.  'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!  You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'  The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'  The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'  **************************************************AND LAST OF THE DAY An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached  across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years and there's something I have to know.   In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"   Martha replied, "Well, Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"  Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we      were about to lose our little house  because we couldn't pay the mortgage.      Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"                Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I      can forgive you for that.       You saved our home, but what about the second time?"                Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't      have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to      see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."                "I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save      my life, so I of course can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."                "Alright," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of      your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"     aSh xmanresha9@yahoo.com

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