*You know you're a nurse if... You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine. ~^~ You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night. ~^~ You believe not all patients are annoying ... Some are unconscious. ~^~ Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year. ~^~ You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart. ~^~ You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock. ~^~ Almost everything can seem humorous ... Eventually. ~^~ When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes. ~^~ Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets. ~^~ You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can. ~^~ You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver. ~^~ You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs." ~^~ You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work. ~^~ You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up. ~^~ You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse. ~^~ Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you. ~^~ You can intubate your friends at parties. ~^~ You don't get excited about blood loss ... Unless it's your own. ~^~ You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult." ~^~ You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe. ~^~ You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help. ~^~ Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural. ~^~ Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank. ~^~ When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer. ~^~ You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines. ~^~ You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up. ~^~ You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off. ~^~ You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.* aSh  |
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