RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings
(GOD)
is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year,
due to a serious defect
in the primary and central
component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction
in the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction
of the same defect in all
subsequent units.
This defect has been
technically termed
"Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,"
or more commonly known as
S.I.N.,
as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer,
who is neither liable
nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair
and service free of charge
to correct this defect.
The Repair Technicians,
AHLUL BAYTE,
has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden
of the staggering cost
of these repairs.
There is no
additional fee
required.
The number to call
for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected,
please upload your burden of
SIN
through the
REPENTANCE
procedure.
Next,
download
ATONEMENT
from the Repair
Technicians,
Ahlul Bayte,
into the heart
component.
No matter how big
or small the SIN defect is,
Ahlul Bayte
will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual,
the Quraan.
(Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
for further details
on the use of
these fixes.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate
the human being unit
without correction
voids any manufacturer
warranties,
exposing the unit
to dangers and problems
too numerous to list
and will result in
the human unit being
permanently impounded.
For free
emergency service,
call on
Ahlul Bayte.
DANGER:
The human being units
not responding to this
recall action
will have to be scrapped.
The SIN defect will
not be permitted
to enter Heaven
so as to prevent
contamination
of that facility.
Thank you for your
attention!
- GOD
P.S.: Please assist
where possible
by notifying others
of this important
recall notice.
Because they Live!
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