The Dubai Nobody Tells You About - by Kim Macedo
Dubai is the land of the biggest, tallest, longest, widest, richest,
fanciest, fastest...everythin
They have the tallest residential towers in the world, the tallest
restaurant in the world, the largest number of Malbaris in the world,
the highest crane operator in the world.
If it does not grow in Dubai , they'll make it artificially -
artificial ski slopes, artificial islands, artificial oasis, coconut
trees and lawns, artificial beaches, artificial economy.
Indians especially love it here because of the dirham-to-rupee value.
The Filipinos come here because they have no choice; there's nothing
back home, not even dogs - theyve been eaten up.
The Egyptians come here because there is nothing to do in Egypt . No
more pyramids to build either.
The Lebanese come here to buy cars, dress to kill, wear Peter Pan
shoes 10 sizes bigger than their feet, put 1 kg of gel on their heads
and give everyone balltalk. They'll buy a 1980s Merc or BMW for 10k
dirhams and drive the car like they're sitting in the rear passenger
seat, stretching their arms all the way to the steering wheel, giving
you the piercing bald eagle look.
The Russian girls come here as hookers.
The Bangladeshis come here to build the tallest buildings in the world.
Now according to the government Dubai is tax free. Of course, that is true.
Only, there is a Pay and Park scheme with 5000 parking lots, and
500,000 cars in the city, so where the hell do you park? And you're
fined for wrong parking.
Toll has been introduced on many roads. You can avoid the toll tax by
using alternative routes, but you'll end up in a traffic jam because
everyone is trying to avoid the toll tax.
If you have any government related work like medicals for visa or
immigration, you have 2 options - Standard and Urgent Procedure.
Standard takes 15 days and Urgent takes 2 days. The difference is 30
to 40-odd dirhams. Everyone goes for the urgent option and the Dubai
government makes money, urgently.
If you switch jobs you get a work ban and to lift the ban you pay a
huge penalty.
In Dubai , without a car you're paralyzed (you don't even get jobs if
you don't have a car). But you'll get your license in attempts ranging
from 2 to 20. Each time you fail you have paid fees for Driving
Classes & Driving Tests, which are 1000-odd dirhams. Imagine the money
RTA makes.
Most of the expats live alone with families back home. So they spend
much on phone calls. And call charges from Dubai are high.
Another odd thing about Dubai - no matter where you go or who you
meet, you take down phone numbers. Everybody has everybody's number in
Dubai . And everyone has a Visiting Card, whether you're a bootlegger,
a masseuse, a hooker, a car cleaner, a watchman or a pizza delivery
boy. Everyone knocks around with lots of cards in his or her wallet
and one card in the palm. So whenever you shake hands with anyone in
Dubai and let go, you end up with a visiting card in your palm.
If you're walking on the road and you ask someone the time, hell tell
you 10:30, give you his card and say, I have new and second-hand
watches.
At a restaurant when you're leaving they'll say Here's my card, call
us for home delivery.
If you're below your building, you'll meet those Chinese chicks giving
you their cards, saying, Call us if you want DVDs.
If you're standing at a bus stop, a Malbari will pull over in his 1980
Toyota Corolla, give you his card and say, If you want Pick-up & Drop
Service, call me.
Dubai has amusing-looking buildings. Some have holes in them, some
have giant balls on them, some look like aeroplanes, some look like
sail boats, and, all of them reach into space with your window right
in front of the moon.
Everyone in Dubai goes to malls. Not necessarily to shop. To beat the
heat, go to a mall; business meeting, go to a mall; getting bored, go
to a mall; want to take a leak or dump, go to a mall; want to do
lukhagiri (little in your pocket, little in your mind), go to a mall.
If you want to go for a picnic go to a mall.
Some Malbaris go home to Kerala, get married, and then come to a Dubai
Mall for their honeymoon
SENDER: RAJU ARUN < rajuarun@gmail.
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Pure Gujju Group with Young Gujju Members
Most happening & the only active Gujarati Group in the Universe
Meet Our New Generation & Make New Friends
This is the only biggest Gujarati Fun group, where you can meet NRI, Local Gujarati Guys & Gals with real fun, no junk at all.
This group is for LOCAL & NRI AMDAVADI GUJARATI PEOPLES, but any one can join, you will get lots of funny & great emails everyday. Please join with big mail box like Gmail or Yahoo or create new account to receive our emails. This group support all types of attachments
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