Hello, I'm the guy you know will make
some big computerized mistake!
I make one several times a week,
Because I'm no computer geek.
My laptop lives to make a fool
Of me, who missed computer school.
Its goblins and its evil ghosts
Sent several extra e-mail posts.
I have done worse than extra mail,
I sent some nude San Quentin quail
In pictures to my old Aunt Ruth
While trying to map downtown Duluth !
I start a cart at Buy-A-Pet -
A pop-up says I won Tibet !
I fill a form to get my prize,
But "Timed Out" post before my eyes.
The dog I thought would be for me
Is playing Lassie on TV.
I reach to pet the dog at home -
The keyboard buys a trip to Rome .
I click some choice I didn't see,
And get "Dee Dora, Enter me."
I try to ditch this dude enslaver,
And she becomes my new screen saver!
A scanner starts out on the blink.
A printer only works with pink.
The screen will freeze; I'll tap to scroll.
It starts, but rolls out of control.
My tech support's in some casino
While the Trekkies meet in Reno .
Or so it seems when I'm on hold,
Until I'm cut off, quick and cold.
They say to treat your PC well,
But, after damning it to Hell,
Is there a time in your recall
You banged the thing against a wall,
And stomped it 'til you plainly see
The guts of all that treachery?
Then did you hurl it to the sky?
Well, that's amazing! So did I!
COPYRIGHT Mike Bass
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